Fantasy Sports Chat

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Week 5 Football Fun

I have returned from a long a pointless break. Mainly being swamped at work getting ready for the fantasy hockey season, in which I have a legitimate team.
The baseball playoffs are continuing which is fine, but the two teams that I picked to go to the World Series managed to get a total of 1 win between the 2 teams. That's not my fault, but the Yankees lost which is a good thing.

Anyways, let's get down to business. Team No Fat Chicks who almost won in week 4. (We lost because of the Seattle/Chicago game. My team was down 6 points going into that game where I had the Seattle defense and Josh Brown and they decided to suck big time and lose the game for me)
Week 5 was different, the team played with a chip on their shoulder, our opponent was 4-0 going into the week and they were the overachieving squad. They were in the middle of a controversy trying to trade Alge Crumpler, Deion Branch, and DeShaun Foster for Rudi Johnson which our league vetoed becuase both owners were being dumbasses.

First off, everything fell into place we won, but we also managed to score the most points in the league. That's wicked nasty. We were lead by the following guys:
Duece McAllister (123 rushing yards, td = 20 points)
Tom Brady (2 passing td's)
Cadillac Williams (100+ yards rushing)
Lee Evans (94 yards receiving, td against the bears)
Josh Scobee (13 points)
Minnesota Defense (5 sacks, 3 ints, 1 fumble recovery = 29 points)
Now I know I was wicked lucky (also having hines ward, mark clayton, todd heap not producing)
Really lucky was knowing my opponent had:
Peyton Manning (under 200 passing yards, 2 td's against tennessee)
Westbrook (non-factor in shootout against Dallas)
Antonio Bryant (overachiever)
Jericho Cotchery (overachiever)
Marcus Robinson (overachiever)
Keyshawn Johnson (67 yards, td)
Charges Defense (manhandling my boys on Sunday night)

Anyways, there is still some hope for us. As this week we are still the underdog, but our matchup this week boils down to the Cincinnati Bengals and the Tampa Bay Buccanneers. Our opponent also 1-4 has Carson Palmer, Rudi Johnson going we have Cadillac Williams and possible Michael Clayton. It'll be a game to watch.
Also, we have Tom Brady on bye week, so in comes Jake Plummer against Oakland (how can I be this fucking lucky!)
If Duece shows up again this week and my luck continues with Lee Evans (v. Det), Mike Furrey (v. Buf), Heap and Mark Clayton (v. Car).
It'll be a wicked close matchup.

Returning by popular demand is the list (I have lots to bitch about)

To: Terrell Owens
Re: Play the Game...
You are still alive after the Philly matchup and you were a non-factor. But, hey I hear that your new children's book deal is exciting. (Here's a title for you...Little T learns to shut the hell up, no one cares!)
So far 4 games, 17 catches for 232 yards and 1 touchdown....hmmm - here's a note YOU SUCK THIS YEAR!
-----------------------------------------------------------
To: Art Shell
Re: Unemployment
Did you really need the money that much? You could make the same amount of money selling crack or turning tricks. Not tricks like making the Raiders not suck balls. You get the picture. Will you be around for those magic words "With the first pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Oakland Raiders select..."
------------------------------------------------------------
To: Bill Cowher
Re: Let's Circle the Wagons
The Superbowl hangover is getting wicked ugly. Roethlisberger is tough as nails and would not admit if he is injured or would dare sit himself down if his hair was on fire. But, we need to start figuring out how to move the ball a little bit better. I have some ideas it's called spreading the field, utilizing the versatility of players Hines Ward, Santonio Holmes, etc. Just a thought. I mean Ken Wisenhunt was a top choice to be a head coach and now he is looking foolish in the offensive coordinator role for the Steelers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Rex Grossman
Re: Pro-Bowl Caliber QB
Whatever the hell you are eating, I want seconds of that. Holy hell, no one saw this coming. Not even Rex himself. Chicago is blowing the dust off of the Superbowl Shuffle Vinyl Single. Little kids are going as Ditka for Halloween. (okay, that's a bit extreme. It would be hilarious though)
Grossman is doing exactly what his name implies, being Gross man, wicked Gross, making Bernard Berrian Honolulu bound.
Will they run the table against the 72 Dolphins, not a chance in hell. But it could be interesting to watch....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Pregame Television Announcers
Re: No Personalitity
You all are overpaid, ex-athletes who needs to relate more to the average football fan. I would love to see some 300 pound die hard fan of football giving us insight, rather than Boomer Esiasion. Hey, Boomer we get it when you were with the Bengals the Ickey Shuffle was still cool. It's not and neither are you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Good:
Any Chicago Bear not named Cedric Benson
Philip Rivers (yes, he beat Pittsburgh like it was his job...oh, what was that it IS his job. fuck)
Lawrence Maroney (he's sick and getting better)
Duece McAllister (he is quietly producing after being out for most of last year. It's that pesky Reggie Bush guy that is keeping him from a return top 10-15 back)

The Bad:
I thought Randy Moss was supposed to be talented and good. Well, he is awful now a days
Daunte Culpepper - put your ego at the door and fully recover from injury. It's Joey Harrington who has the job. It'll be easy to get it back.
Hines Ward - Thanks for showing up, poser. You are killing my team.
Tampa Bay - Chris Simms may have gone down, but you can't blame him for everything.

Until next week.
JUBA

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home