Fantasy Sports Chat

Monday, September 18, 2006

The List (Week 2)

Another week has passed and first let's hear it for the Tenacious D of Western New York!
No, I don't mean the off-color humorous band featuring Jack Black, but the defense of the mighty Buffalo Bills throwing around Daunte Culpepper like a rag doll. More importantly, the Bills won. They evened their record at 1-1, preparing for a home opener next weekend against the New York Jets (who lost a close game to New England, but mainly because of some miraculous plays and poor Patriot tackling.)

Once again, my money league team, spent way too much time in the buffet line as team No Fat Chicks, were beaten with 2x4's and broken beer bottles. My team, which went down hill, when we had to draft in early August and then Dominack Davis went down for the year. But that's besides the point. 0-2 to start the year, makes me very very very angry and pissed off. My whole team has made 'The List'

To: Rex Grossman
Re: Stop Ruining my Life
Okay, we get it. You went to Florida and thought hey I used to be a run n' gun quarterback, If I spent more time on my feet, throwing the ball downfield I then bending over and taking it deep, then I should be fine.
Me: You stupid little (beep)(beep)(beep). My opponent had Trent Green as his other qb, and I am thinking that we are made and we are going to even our record at 1-1. Yeah, Um no.
To: Jon Gruden
Re: Your Ass From a Hole in the Ground
Your offense is so bad, it couldn't beat a bunch of high school football players in a beer chugging contest. You can't pass, You definately can't run. You are forcing me to stop liking Cadillac Williams. If you don't step up, then I along with the city of Tampa Bay, will probably hunt you down and kick your ass. Atlanta misses 4 FG's. Four! That's unheard of in the NFL and you still manage to suck on it hard. You stupid little....

To: Cadillac Williams and Michael Clayton
Re: One Irate GM
You two are the biggest a-holes on the planet. I get it, Chris Simms isn't Brian Griese. Hell, he's not even Phil Simms (the retired, fat, old commentator not the player). But, not everything is this kid's fault. You even the big money. Damn it, act like you deserve it, play like you deserve it. Otherwise, You are dead to me.
To: Tom Brady
Re: Throw the ball, and stop being an idiot
After your 'lucky' game against the Jets, you look like you are going to cry. Because they never should have been in the game towards the end. You lost, Deion Branch and David Givens, but management decided to give you the Trent Green syndrome. We have a quarterback who is good, but let's give him the shittiest receivers in the world, so he can be the worst of the top flight quartbacks. But, it's okay but we have three mother-F*ing running backs, who couldn't help Brady rack up passing yards. That's right, that's the job of Reche Caldwell. Are you kidding me? No wonder, Brady looks like he is crying. It's because he is.
To: Miami Offensive Line
From: Daunte Culpepper
Thanks for making the Bills Defense look like the Steel Curtain of the 1970's. If you give me just 5 seconds I could make a pass, but I need some pass protection. I am Way more important than you and I will show you how Culpepper does things around here. I know people.
PS- You should drive your own cars to the stadium, by yourself unless you are carpooling with other offensive linemen.
To: Football Fans Everywhere
From: New Orleans
Thanks for giving us a Monday night showdown with Atlanta. Reggie Bush is the renaissance of New Orleans.

The Good:
Rex Grossman - QB Chicago (Yeah, you really can't ignore the nastiest numbers of the week)
Chad Pennington - QB New York Jets (I know, he got wicked lucky out of some fluke plays from his receivers, but the shoulder is looking like it could be okay this season)
Jericho Cotchery - WR New York Jets (I mean, did you see that catch, it was filthy. Catch of the Year, in only week 2)
Peyton Manning - WB Indianapolis (400+ yards, I don't care if it was against Houston)
Rudi Johnson - RB Cincinnati (140+ yards rushing and 2 TD's just in time for the Pittsburgh game next weekend)

The Bad:
Everyone on my fantasy team.
The Tennessee Titans Offense
The Tampa Bay Buccanneers Offense
Michael Konenen, K Atlanta (0-4 on FG's and you still win the game, wow)
*also, the Falcons signed Morten Anderson out of a 2 year retirement, but don't worry Konenen you always have punting to fall back on.

Until next week,

- Let's hope team, No Fat Chicks finally leaves the buffet line and finds their way to victory
I Loathe You Will Everything I Have:
Tom Brady, Duece McAllister, Cadillac Williams, Lee Evans, Hines Ward, Michael Clayton, Mark Clayton, Michael Jenkins, Todd Heap, Josh Brown, and Rex (Whore) Grossman.

Until next time.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Off to the Races...

The Minnesota faithful are crossing their fingers and lighting candles in the Twin Cities curches hoping that Fransisco Liriano, doesn't need to have (gulp) Tommy John surgery which could sideline him for the 2007 season.

The Wild Card leading Twins, have officially shut down Liriano, known as "The Franchise" after his dominanation of AL hitters, thus far. If there is any positive news for the Twins after Wednesday's game is that Matt Garza (named USA Today's Sports Weekly, Pitcher of the Year) shut down the Oakland offense and kept the Twins in the game. Garza who struggled a little bit when he was promoted is now back in the rotation, which is a crapshoot after "Mr. Automatic" Johan Santana.

Many people are jumping off the Twins bandwagon, much like the Titanic, but I believe the Twins are still going to hang around. They were still hanging around the race after Liriano went down the first time and their bullpen is the best on the planet. If they can get some servicable starts out of the starting pitchers, watch out forthe Mighty Minnesota Twins.

Until next time.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Baseball at it's finest

I was sitting up late the other night, flipping through the television channels and stumblied across one of my favorite sports movies, Major Legaue. Now I never said it was a good movie, in terms of meaningfulness, but it is crazy funny. It always makes me laugh.

Then it hit me, like a Rick Vaughn fastball. The Florida Marlins are the real life team in Major League. It makes perfect sense. No one knew anyone on the Marlins except for Dontrelle Willis, Miguel Cabrera, and manager Joe Girardi (specifically because everyone happens to be a Yankees fan, because that's the cool team to root for.)

Quick, think back to April and you were looking at team previews. Who ignored the Florida roster almost entirely? Who is this Scott Olsen kid, Anibal Sanchez (never heard of him), Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla (his name alone made you cringe). Uggla exactly what the Marlins were going to be this year right? Unless, you were a die-hard Marlins fan or an Alberquerque (N.M.) Isotopes fan (AAA for the Marlins) there was very little to root for.
I mean come on if they are going to pack up and bolt in the night just get it over with. Go to Portland, or Vegas, or Indianapolis for all I care. In the words of Nike "just do it."

There is one thing that happened though. No one told the Marlins that they were not supposed to be competitive. All of a sudden, they are the chic team to root for. Everyone loves to be a part the success story of an underdog team, are these fans for real?

The Marlins are one game over .500 (73-72) and only two games back in the NL Wild Wild Wild Card Race. Everyone in the NL is still mathematically alive for the Wild Card. There are already rumors circulating that Girardi will be fired by the owner Jeffery Loria (who ironically was a part of the Expos exile to Washington D.C.)

I think that the Marlins are a dangerous team, because they are filled with young talent that will not quit. They are anchored by a few pieces left over from the World Series team in 2003, which seems like decades ago now.

In Major League, my favorite part is where they are sitting in the locker room and they have a cardboard cutout of the female owner and for every win they get, the team reveals another piece from underneath. My only question is do the Marlins have a cardboard cutout of Jeffery Loria? It would be funny and make sense.

Let's go out and win the whole f*ing thing! That's how the Marlins operate.

Until next time.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Week 1 Thoughts Cont'd

Deion Branch is a subscriber to the Fantasy Sports Chat. That has to be it. Within hours of me venting about how he needs to shut up and play, the Patriots then trade him to the Seatlle Seahawks for a draft pick, what round or when? Who knows, who cares?

Branch now is a decent option with Hasselback, Darrel Jackson, Nate Burleson, and Shaun Alexander. Was this something that was inevitable or was the panic of squeaking by Detroit a cause for something drastic. The world may never know?

16 Weeks until the playoffs...

Week 1 Thoughts and Recap

This was a busy weekend in sports, but everyone's attention was glued to opening weekend in football.
(Also, a side note that hockey training camps open up. Being in Canada that's a more popular topic around the watercooler than, why the Bills choked against New England, but that's irrelevant.)

My money league team (Team No Fat Chicks) decided to take this week off and pretend not to play. They did not live up to the name as they forgot yesterday was opening day and were hanging around the all you can eat buffet. My most productive player was Michael Jenkins, who conviently was on my bench, because of some bizzare thought that Carolina's defense would manhandle him and the Falcons. Son of a.....
My team was lead by Tom Brady (3 passing yards in the first half against Buffalo, 3 no that is not a misprint.) I thought about how much I dispised him. Then the Buccanners against the Ravens. Oh, the Ravens how I loathe you now even more so. So, nothing out of Michael Clayton and nothing out of Cadillac Williams.
In fact I only had 3 'players' achieve more than 10 points due to our crazy scoring system. (Josh Brown with 11, Hines Ward with 11, and the winner is the Seattle defense with 15.) Nothing, love out of anything. Meanwhile as of this morning my opponent has a 77-68 lead on me, meanwhile he still has LaMont Jordan, McCardell, Santana Moss and the Redskins defense. Are you frickin kidding me. I am so pissed.
That lead me to my brilliant idea of THE LIST (mainly me writing and venting to people who ruined my lovely Sunday afternoon.)
To: Deion Branch
Re: Get your Ass on the field

Last I checked, you don't win friends over whining and complaining about not getting paid enough. While you obviously need your teammates as much as they need you. You want the money, shut up and play. Flat out. Because, you can't see the light, you cost my Fantasy 'Golden Boy', Tom Brady some good numbers. Watch your back, you have made the list.
To: J.P. Losman
Re: You Don't Take Safeties and Win Games
This one is really self explanatory. Think about it. You are outplaying the New England Patriots, which shouldn't happen and once again you destroy the love of football in Western New York by letting the victory slip away quicker than a drunk one-night stand. Also, hey I have a great idea. Let's not throw the ball to Lee Evans he is our number 1 receiver, but hey I hear Robert Royal has game and we can't forget about the big-play capabilities of Rosco Parrish.
To: Tampa Bay Buccanneers
Re: moving the ball
Jon Gruden is an offensive genius, oh wait. Rich Gannon is no longer MVP. No, he is in Tampa Bay, right. You play Baltimore, who has a good defense, but you gotta establish a running game. Hey, let's run the ball 13 times the entire game. Note to Jon Gruden, Chris Simms isn't Peyton Manning and this isn't Madden football. You can't throw 34 out of 47 plays and win games, for that matter really scare anyone. Especially with the receiving core of Micheal Clayton (34 yards, 3 catches) leading in yardage.
There is one positive though, Chris Simms now knows the difference between the white jersey of Baltimore and the red jersey of Tampa Bay. Don't throw to the white ones at home, that's a bad thing (as proven by the 3 picks.)
To: Brett Farve
Re: What a performance
The last time I saw a shitty performance like that out of Farve was watching "There's Something About Mary" You should have done the right thing here, let Green Bay know if you were going to come back, then give them some time to find some talent around you. I think you should be back home enjoying your retirement, nothing is more sad than watching a veteran hang on for too long. I am starting the Aaron Rodgers watch, any takers??
and Finally
To: Jerome Bettis
Re: Opening Night
Nice dance in the suit on the field. You gotta give the man some props for still breaking out the patented Bettis jig, while not destroying the suit. Also, coming in on the school bus. That was simply the shit.
That's Good.....
Kurt Warner (ARZ) Quarterback Rating of 114.8
Chad Pennington (NYJ) Over 300 yards, I don't care if it was against the Titans, I think he can be a contributor.
Warrick Dunn (ATL) 132 yards, who needs Duckett.
Donte' Stallworth (PHI) nice debut with 141 yard receiving and a TD. Who needs TO?
Welcome back from oblivion....
Antonio Bryant (SF) 114 yards receiving
Ahman Green (GB) 100 yards rushing (Someone decided to play for Green Bay)
Alex Smith (SF) 288 yards passing. There are signs of life in San Fransisco.

The Bad.....
Shaun Alexander (SEA) you played Detroit, come on. Detroit really isn't your place is it? Please tell me the fumbles aren't the beginning of Tiki Barber fumblitis.
Larry Johnson (KC) no 100+ rushing, no TD, no love, injured QB. Yep, you definately choked. Cincinnati defense may be improved, but it's not an elite defense.

Your thoughts on week 1....
Until then,


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Back to Baseball (Down the stretch...)

With football only a few days away. I am still focusing on fantasy baseball as I am clinging to the last spot in my money league (top 5 teams get some return on investment for the season).

It can be quite challenging trying to find quality players down the stretch, especailly because rookies are getting called up and trying to audition for spots for the 2007 season. For example, people in my AL-only keeper league were fighting over Cleveland Indians prospect, Kevin Kouzmanoff, who did hit a grand slam in his first MLB at bat. But honestly, do we really need to sit down and aruge about who is going to get the rights to him, when in all honest could be in AAA-Buffalo for most of the 2007 season.

I don't really care for the roster expansion in September, both from a baseball fan perspective and from a fantasy sports perspective. You have your roster of guys that are working real hard all season, and then they are supposed to not play the last month of the season, so some other player can audition for a spot in the lineup, not necessarily at that position, but just in general. I don't care for that. Everyone is trying to maximize their value and play as hard as they can. You can't make everyone happy though.

Some of the call-ups that I really like besides the obvoius (Delmon Young) are:
Adam Lind, OF/1B Toronto - This kid can hit, he started out the season in AA-New Hampshire and he was promoted to Syracuse and only improved on his numbers. (.310 in AA, .394 in AAA). With the Blue Jays falling out of control as of late and LF/DH Frank Catalanatto a free agent at the end of the season, Lind is going to get a long look to see if the Blue Jays need to keep the Cat, north of the border.
Troy Tulowitzki, SS Colorado - He is going to end the Clint Barmes reign in Colorado sometime in late 2007. Troy was the Rockies, first round draft pick in 2005 (7th overall) and he has done nothing to disappoint thus far he was hitting .291, with 13 homers and 34 doubles in AA ball this season. That does some hope for the future. He is a similiar style of ballplayer to Oakland's Bobby Crosby, but without the extensive injury history. He could be a force in Colorado down the road.
Kevin Kouzmanoff, 3B Cleveland - Kouzmanoff, as I mentioned earlier hit a grand slam in his first MLB at bat after he was called up from the minors. Interesting note, Kouozmanoff was replacing Travis Hafner in the lineup (who leads the majors in grand slams this season, with 7.) Kouzmanoff, started the season in AA and he dominated while playing for Akron, he was called up to Buffalo where he was outplaying his teammates and opponents. The $10,000 question is this...Where is Kevin Kouzmanoff going to play? The Indians landed another youngster in Andy Marte to play third, they shifted Ryan Garko from catcher to play first (meanwhile they have been trying Martinez at first a little).
Cleveland has too many young guns and not enough lineup spots for off of them to develop.
Andrew Miller, P Tigers - Yes, Andrew Miller was one of the most polished pitchers out of THIS YEAR'S DRAFT and he has done nothing to disappoint. He has come up to Detroit and they will use him out of the bullpen in the stretch drive for the feroicous Tiger pen. He is going to be something special and we will not even see the potential being tapped yet.

Francisco Liriano threw a bullpen session today, and is close to returning. I, like many others are saying if he can come back and help the Twins (who have maintained with a patchwork rotation, they are going to be extremely dangerous come playoff time). They have to get their first. The Twins begin a gigantic series in Detroit which could decide the division. You hear it first.

On a sadder note, after everything that has happened in baseball this week and as of late. The Red Sox, who have found themselves fighting for a wild card spot, realized something very important outside of baseball. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime. Jon Lester, a 22-year old flamethrower was diagnosed with lymphoma. I have to say that his is in the thoughts and prayers of baseball fans everywhere and we all wish him a speedy and successful recovery. While this is a daunting task for anyone to deal with, for a 22-year old athlete, this is especially difficult to handle.
Lester, will beat this and come back and pitch again. Anything is possible with positive thinking and he should be successful with this too.

Big sports weekend with NCAA Football, NFL Opening Weekend, and MLB stretch drive.

Until next time,

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Drafting til your Eyes Bleed

Most people were out enjoying their Labor Day weekend, while I (along with many others, I assume) were going over last minute updates for their fantasy football drafts that are just before Thursday's mayhem in Pittsburgh.

I drafted my third of four teams. (My final draft being tonight.) I think that my team is very solid. Many people were pissed off at me but you know what. tough. I took the players I wanted and they seemed to be really upset, meaning I took 'their' players. I enjoy being an a jerk at times, especially being the snake in the grass on draft day.

My roster shakes down like this...
qb- Jake Delhomme
qb- Ben Roethlisberger (he may be out for Week 1 - appendecemy, but he's only my backup)
rb-Ronnie Brown
rb- Rueben Droughns
rb- Mike Bell (bench)
rb- Deangelo Williams (bench)
wr- Larry Fitzgerald (I didn't like the RB's left when I picked in the 2nd round, someone took Cadillac Williams right before I took Fitzgerald)
wr- Darrell Jackson
wr- Lee Evans
wr- Ernest Wilford
wr- Ashley Lelie (last round choice - everyone else forgot about him)
te- Heath Miller
te- Kellen Winslow Jr. (late round choice)
k- Nate Keading
d- Atlanta (something tells me they are mounting the comeback this year with Abraham)

Thursday is opening night and I am an irate Steelers fan that wants Big Ben out there to be dominant against Miami. I like Charlie Batch, but not on opening night.

Tonight, I have my final draft (18 teams). This is going to be a painful one. Hopefully I have a decent pick, otherwise I am hosed.

Until then,

NFC West Preview

NFC West Preview

In the last of our pre-season previews, we are going to look at the NFC West.
Home of the NFC Champion Seattle Seahawks and three other teams who are not up to the caliber of Seattle, otherwise known as Arizona, St. Louis, and the once mighty 49ers.

The predicted order of finish is as follows...
1) Seattle (HUGE Suprise here)
2) St. Louis
3) Arizona
4) San Fransisco

Seattle barring injury will win this division and go back to the playoffs. They scored the most points in the league last season and they have the most potent runner in some guy named, Shaun Alexander. Yes, the Seahawks did lose out on Steve Hutchinson which could diminish some of the ease that Seattle moved the ball, but I doubt it. I still think that Alexander will have a monster year (breaking the Madden cover jinx) and Hasselback will be a force yet again.
Unless, plague strikes through the Pacific Northwest. Count them in the playoffs.

St. Louis comes in next. They lost Adam Achuleta to free agency and they lost Mike Martz but they have added in Jim Haslett a defensive minded coach to help sure up a team that looked abyssmal last season. They couldn't stop anything last year. If the defense turns it around then they might be in the playoffs, but they are going to need big performances out of Steven Jackson and Marc Bulger.

Arizona has been the talk of the league, lately. You heard me correctly. Arizona has talent. Larry Fitzgerald, Boldin, Kurt Warner were dynamic last season. So, new coach Dennis Green comes in and strikes gold. They add Edgerrin James (esentially stole him from Indianapolis) and they fall into Matt Leinart on draft day. He can throw the ball while Warner is not a young guy anymore.
If the Cardinals can improve on defense, they could be somewhere that few people could have imagined...the playoffs.

Lastly, the 49ers. I don't know whether to laugh or cry when describing the 49ers to you. They did draft Vernon Davis at TE and brought in Norv Turner. But there are so many problems with this team, that it will be a stretch for them not to be in the running for the number 1 pick in next year's draft.
At least Frank Gore, finally get's to start. He should deliver if he's healthy.

Season is only days away.

Friday, September 01, 2006

AFC West Preview

The AFC West, where every game is a shootout. Oh wait, only seems like that most of the time.

I see the division beaking down like this....
1) Denver
2) San Diego
3) Kansas City
4) Oakland

Denver, what can we say about Denver excpet that, they are looking at both this year and down the road all at the same time. For example, who ran to their waiver wire in the fantasy football league and wantedto know who the hell Mike Bell was? More importantly, was he worth using a high waiver priority on?

The answer is maybe. Team Bell (both Mike and Tatum) will be used in the famed 'system' of Denver that have made somebody's out of everyday joes. That's not all though. Let's pick up a #2 receiver to go with Rod Smith, who has been playing forever. Hmmm......we could get someone in the draft or get Javon Walker. Let's get Walker. We have extra draft picks, great let's get Jay Cutler (who, apparently is as good as he was advertised).
Be advised that Gary Kubiak, lon-time assistant to Shanahan has bolted to Houston to coach and took that offensive system with him.
The Broncos are the class of this division and barring injuries punch their ticket for a January playoff run.

Next the San Diego Super-Chargers. They didn't want to overpay for Drew Brees, but they do have Philip Rivers and it is his time to shine. Can he step up to the plate or will he fall flat on his face. Remember he was picked ahead of Ben Roethlisberger and was a key component of the famed Eli Manning trade. They still have a couple guys named Tomlinson and Gates, maybe you heard of them. I think those guys are pretty good, so we will wait and see on that.
There schedule last season was hell, but it is a little bit better and the young guys on defense have had a full-season to develop. If anyone, takes down Denver this will be the team to do it.

Next up is Kansas City, the Chiefs brought in a defensive head coach in Herm Edwards who has finally excaped the New York media swarm. Can he bring his magic to Arrowhead? Offensive guru, Al Saunders is gone and that leaves a solid offensive scheme in limbo. Can Larry Johnson step up and deliver like a number 1 back can, or was last season an absolute fluke. The world may never know. Also, can Trent "Statuesque" Green stay upright or is he going to be down and out. If that's the case it will be a good thing gone bad in KC.

Oakland must have spent the off-season hanging around the Buffalo Bills, watching Back to the Future. Oakland management thought, hey let's bring in Aaron Brooks and Art Shell. Didn't Art Shell coach when Bo Jackson was playing? Oh wait, Jackson was in camp (my mistake). There are so many egos on this team that it would be a challenge for anyone to come in and fix them. They gave up on Charles Woodson, but brought in Duane Starks and drafted safety, Michael Huff from Texas. If Brooks and Moss come to life then it will be a fun thing to watch in Oakland. If not, then ouch.

The last one standing, the NFC West....

Until then,