Fantasy Sports Chat

Monday, October 30, 2006

The List (Week 8)

Let's start by saying I loathe Ben Roethlisberger. Thank the lord, I am not near Pittsburgh. If I was there would be trouble brewing big time. I mean come on 4 picks against Oakland. That means he'll throw 12 against Baltimore.
Oakland managed shade under 100 yards of total offense (98 actually) and beat the Steelers because of 2 interceptions that were returned for touchdowns and really shitty offense of Pittsburgh. They couldn't run up the middle and they were trying to force passes that just weren't there.
At 2-6, the Steelers season is esentially over. They still have Denver, New Orleans, Tampa Bay, Baltimore (twice), Cleveland (twice), and Cincinnati.
I think at best right now 7-9. I am sad a little bit bitter.

Speaking of angry and miserable, I lost again in my money league, which it was a battle of teams who thoughts scoring points was a bad idea. The final score was 77-75, it was the only matchup where both teams failed to score 80 points. The whole thing was pitiful.

My opponent had Hasselbeck and Byron Leftwich at quarterback so he picked up Vince Young. Now Young didn't light up the scoreboard, but with him running and passing, that sucked. It sucked hard. (Stupid Vince Young). Young managed 18 fantasy points, but only threw for a mighty 87 yards. That's it. But when you run for 40+ yards and a touchdown, you decide to be a jackass.
Then I thought okay, it wasn't bad. he had Tatum Bell and Leon Washington who did nothing. Meanwhile, I had Cadillac Williams and Duece McAllister who ran the ball a combined 13 times for 31 yards! Yes, New Orleans was out of the game early against Baltimore, who conviently was on my opponents roster managing 21 points for him. (mostly because of 2 int's returned for tds) But, Tampa Bay not running was the wrong call and I'll mention that later.
I thought I was still okay, when Marvin Harrison, Laveranues Coles, and LJ Smith all had medicore games. But, I had both Lee Evans and Mike Furrey on bye week and my receivers are weak to begin with.
Hines Ward good yardage, no TD's. Santonio Holmes (waiver wire pickup) got me a respectable 4 points with a long reception, no TD's though. The Clayton Bros. (Mark and Mike) sucked it hard. Mike along with the rest of Tampa Bay continues to ruin my life. He had one catch and then fumbled the damn ball he managed -2 points. How the hell does that happen? (Those 2 points will come back to haunt me later)
The opposition has Adam Viniteri who plays tha game of the season for him and basically saves my opponent. That whiney little pain in my ass.
Going into Monday night. The scoreboard read All U Can Eat 70 No Fat Chicks 35.
He had Chad Jackson for NE. I had both Tom Brady and the Minnesota defense. I thought I was going to be screwed. I was expecting to lose by at least 10 points. New England loves the run, like I love potato chips. (mmmmmm......potato chips).
All of a sudden, Tom Brady is throwing the ball all over the place and the lead is slowly shrinking. There might be hope and still an outside chance for victory. Then the Vikings run a punt back for a TD and Brady is having a career game. I am thinking an upset has been made.
Then it all came crashing down to earth. Chad Jackson, the fucking rookie has one catch the whole game for a 10 yard touchdown and gets my opponent 7 points. I was beyond pissed.
Brady ends the game going 29/43 for 372 yards, 4 td's, 1 int. He gets 33 points.
The Vikings defense bombed out, but causing 2 turnovers and getting the punt return for a TD gave us a managable 7 points there.
Final Score read All U Can Eat 77 No Fat Chicks 75.
Two points was the only difference and it boils down to 2 things. 1) Michael Clayton fumbling his one catch against New York giving us a -2 or 2) the way our league is set up if Tom Brady threw one more completion for only 3 yards it would have given him an extra 2 points. (he would have had 30 completitions - we get one poin for every 10 passing completions, and he would have had 375 yards - we get one point for every 25 yards passing.)

Once again, we lose a heartbreaker. At 2-6 we are tied for the worst record and 2 games out of the last playoff spot with 4 weeks left. Two of my losses have been less than 10 points (7 points, which that week Seattle managed a -7 for me and cost that one and this week 2 points, courtesy of Michael Clayton.)

I need to relax and forget about how much Clayton bites. It's giving me nightmares.

Anyways, there are other teams that played so let's try to focus on them for a bit. Now comes the List....

To: Jon Gruden
Re: Seriously, Playcalling?
Cadillac Williams ran the ball 8 times the entire game against the Giants. Now, yes the Giants have a good line up front but 8 times. You don't have Tom Brady or Peyton Manning, you have Bruce Gradkowski.
I do love your explanation of throwing so much, you go to the passing game often in order to exploit the perceived gaps in the Gaints' pass defense (okay, I'll give you that) but the other reason I have big problems with exploiting the 'windy conditions at Giants Stadium'. Windy conditions, are you f*ing kidding me. I always thought if it was windy it would be more challenging throwing something in the air. Therefore, wouldn't you want to try and run the ball a little bit more than 8 damn times. I mean come on. There is a reason you team is awful this year and this is one of those reasons. You are dead to me.
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To: Tony Romo
Re: Welcome to the Big Show
With your first start under your belt considered a success and a victory over a difficult Carolina squad in the Panthers lair. You have won the hearts of Cowboys fans and more importantly have given Bill Parcells hope in Dallas.
PS - Terry Glenn can complain all he wants (He still thinks it's the late 90's and it's New England). He's an idiot.
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To: New Orleans
Re: Down to Earth
You can't get every lucky break, you have to concede every now and again. I can see that you have to work out some kinks before you play a team like Baltimore again. You did show that you won't quit and fight until the bitter end. Making the game almost respectable, but you had too much to overcome.
Also, I didn't agree with the selection of playcalling. Why not throw to the backs more? Just because Reggie Bush went down doesn't mean you have to give up on involving Deuce McAllister.
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To: Denver Defensive Backs
Re: Multiple Receivers
There is a problem here. Champ Bailey can't cover both Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne. So which one do you want to beat you all game long?
What was that you thought, Peyton Manning would struggle against you on the road? Come on now, that's funny. Really sad and pathetic but funny.
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To: Jake Plummer
Re: Best Game
You have your best game this season and you still aren't even close to Manning. No excuses or Jay Cutler will be running the show
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To: Indianaoplis Defense
Re: Running Stopping
Suprisingly, you won the game giving up over 200 yards rushing. I mean do you try to stop the run or is Denver just that good.
If that isn't fixed soon, there is no way that you can keep moving along with ease.
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To: Chicago
Re: Fair Play
You didn't even show up in the second half, was that even fair against San Fran. Wait, you say you didn't want to get those orange jerseys dirty. Well, that makes sense.
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To: Oakland
Re: Nice offense
You won on defense, literally. I mean not evne getting 100 yards on offense and winning, well that doesn't happen very often and you will see it won't happen again.

I think that is enough venting for now. Soon to come, upcoming ranking and early playoff projections.
JUBA

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The List (Week 7)

I want to start out by saying if I lived anywhere near Seattle. I would give that Seahawks defense a piece of my mind. Those stupid little posers. I can't stand them and for the most part neither can any other self-respecting Seattle football fan. I mean, it's not like they have done anything completely different and they were a Super Bowl caliber defense last season.
They have cost my money team 2 victories this season and if I miss the playoffs, that will be the sole reason why. I should be a mighty 4-3 but in reality we are a 2-5 team. Which puts me tied for 10th in a 12 team league.
For example, in week 4. My team lost 102-95. I played the Seattle defense in Chicago on Sunday night, because stupid me I thought the game would be a battle of good defense and a close game maybe a field goal fest. Nope, Seattle defense netted a whopping -7. You have to try and achieve a -7 for fantasy football. Meanwhile, I had the Vikings defense on the bench and they managed 7 points against Buffalo which was a great game to watch. Overall a 14 point swing. If that change was made Team No Fat Chicks (NFC) would have won 109-102.
This past week, was not nearly as bad as the -7 thrashing of Rex Grossman, but it was pretty damn close. Seattle plays Minnesota, okay fine I have both defenses. I was thinking that the Seattle offense would overpower the Minnesota defense so I should start Seattle. Yeah, great idea....not.
Final Score Minnesota 31 Seattle 13. From a fantasy perspective...Minnesota defense scored 23 points and Seattle scored 0. I lost 105-95.
Granted I was wicked lucky this week Hines Ward, played the game of his career with 3 touchdowns, 170+ yards receiving, including a long td, wich scored an extra bonus point or two.
Mike Furrey, also come up with a strong game for my team with another touchdown. However, I had zero production of of the 2RB. After losing Dominack Davis in August, I had Duece McAllister as my number 2 RB, but he was on bye week. So it was a toss up between Najeh Davenport of Pittsburgh and Jerious Norwoord of Atlanta. I went with Davenport because the Giants were able to run with ease against Atlanta and I thought Norwood would get nothing against a tough Steeler defense. Yep, wrong again.
Granted, my opponent had Tiki Barber, Randy Moss, Chris Cooley, and Joe Jurevicius had solid performances.

There are 5 weeks left in the regular season until the playoffs start and at 2-5. The top 8 teams make the playoffs and right now their are two teams are 6-1, one team and 5-2, two at 4-3, and four teams at 3-4.
I am only one game out of a playoff spot and this coming week I am against a 3-4 team. They lost Hasselbeck and have to start Byron Lefwich against Philadelphia, and Clinton Portis is on bye this week. It will be another close week and I have learned to stay away from the Seattle defense.

The List....
To: Oakland
Re: banding together
Wow, you actually won a game. now granted this isn't going to turn around the season or anything but this is still a step in the right direction even if you did beat the Cardinals of all teams.
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To: Dennis Green
Re: Free Checkups at all Phoenix Hospitals
After the meltdown of Monday night, losing to Oakland in a game mnay people expected you to win, you lose. Maybe throwing away your offensive coordinator wasn't the best idea in the world, because who are you going to hide behind now?
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To: Drew Bledso
Re: "I Will Not Be A Backup"
Drew, let's be serious. You are on your last legs and Parcells will not settle for your inability to be mobile. You may not have a choice as you running out of chances to prove yourself, even when your old buddy from New England is having doubts about you.
PS- You can't throw the ball if you can't stay on your feet and no, you cannot blame the offensive line for everything. A part of it, maybe but not everything. You are letting Jason Witten waste away by making him block and not catch the ball. Bad Bledsoe Bad.
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To: Michael Vick
Re: Think with your arm, not with your legs
You can throw the ball, you proved it and even to someone else other than Alge Crumpler. Give it some time and you will improve, but if you complain about it then you will lose the respect of everyone who is trying to help you.
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To: Miami Dolphins
Re: Really?
You lost to the Packers at home. Now, I understand that you are supposed to be a strong team and Culpepper was playing hurt and we have been unlucky, blah, blah, blah, shut up.
You are embarrassing yourselves and football everywhere except in Buffalo where they are smiling that you are worse than the Bills.
Look on the bright side, the high draft pick will be helpful next April. Too bad, Nick Saban might not be around to enjoy it as he could be on his way out if the season progresses like this.
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To: Seattle
Re: You are ruining my life
Read the beginning on this rant about why I loathe the Seahawks defense. But in all honesty, is there any chance of a deep playoff run if you can't stop anyone on defense?
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To: Matt Bryant
Re: 62 yard blast for the win
Dude, you are my kicker that is almost cool enough to not be a kicker this week.
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To: Kansas City Chiefs
Re: Upset City
You showed up loud and proud against the Chargers especially after getting destoryed against the Steelers. My question for you is which team are you for real and more importantly, who is going to be the QB - Trent Green or Damon Huard?
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The Good:
Hines Ward - Scoring without your shoes - That's nasty. Nasty Good
Houston Texans - No one gave you a chance. That's how you prove skeptics wrong
Brett Favre - "I'm in town to play the Dolphins dumbass." Still one of my favorite lines from "There's Something About Mary". He delivered against the Dolphins and showed that they have a little bit of gas in the tank. However, gas prices keep climbing unlike the Packers.....hmmmmm

The Bad:
JP Losman - You lose a fumble because you run into the umpire, that was just comicial. Thanks for the laughs.
San Diego Chargers Defense - Are you overrated because of Mr. Merriman's "Special Juice"
Seattle Seahawks - (See a trend here)

Coming Soon...NFL Rankings and early predictions for the playoffs

Until then.
JUBA

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The List (Week 6)

First thing is first. I have won my money league matchup 2 weeks in a row. We are not down and out after a sluggish 0-4 start, but not we are out of last place and we are slowly fighting back into the pack. Very slowly.

The standings in the league look like this so far
one team is 6-0
another is 5-1
another is 4-2
teams 4-8 all have records of 3-3
I am at 2-4.

This is still very doable.

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The victory came at the hands of some lucky bounces and I do mean lucky. Mark Clayton with 2 TD's both off of deflections. That is wicked excellent hand-eye coordination and I for one am very impressed with that.
Hines Ward found the endzone. I know he is still not 100% and the Steelers still have a bitch of a schedule, but Ward catching the ball is a step in the right direction for my team and the Steelers.
Josh (Jacked) Brown was clutch against St. Louis and to think I was upset because Scobee was on bye this week. Our team managed a respectable 107 points overall. With every player contributing a little (Plummer and Mike Furrey take note)
It was the suprisingly poor performances of the opponent that helped us though. Rudi Johnson only managed 4 points and Thomas Jones 5 points (Cadillac Willams had 11 for me). He had Joe Horn (who somehow decides every year to play huge against me) but that was offset by Derrick Mason, Greg Lewis, and Eric Johnson having a combined 5 points (Furrey had 3 and that was my lowest output). The Steelers defense couldn't vault him ahead, but it made the loss respectable for my worthy foe.
We didn't even start Michael Clayton (who finally found the endzone on one of the sweetest plays of the season) and my opponent didn't start Kevin Jones which was great, because he would have won the matchup then.

This week should be an interesting matchup for me. My opponent had Marc Bulger, Travis Henry, and the Bears defense all on bye this week. He doesn't have a 2nd defense right now, so he will have to pick up whatever is left over and he has to start Chad Pennington against the Lions which destroyed JP Losman last week.
He does have Tiki Barber against Dallas, Roy Williams and Randy Moss but overall depth is off poor quality on this roster. If all goes well team No Fat Chicks could be 3-4.

The List is back....
To: Dennis Green
Re: Monday night meltdown
That was a great press conference after the game. Totally flipping out, it has to be on the highlight reel for the Cardinals because that is the story of the year. Grab defeat from the jaws of victory.
You are at home on Monday night and almost take down the last of the unbeaten teams in the NFL. You defied physics that night you both sucked and blew at the same time.
Smooth move firing the offense coordinator, it really was your fault
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To: Michael Clayton
Re: TD Grab
That's the effort that we expect from you. You bitched about not finding the endzone and now you found it. Let's stay there.
P.S. - Nice effort laying out for the win. That's what the fans like to see.
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To: Matt Linart
Re: Hold onto the ball
Matt, hang in there. It's not like the good old days of USC where 80% of your o-line were going to the NFL and become decent. You don't have a line. You might be safer with no line to protect you and have 11 receivers on the field. We might have something there.
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To: Mike Holmgren
Re: Dumb Luck and 'What Can Brown Do For You?"
How lucky are you getting out of St. Louis alive and with a victory. You need to work on that defense it is pitiful and I thought you were going to make it better. Ummm....okay then where are the sacks and picks and fantasy points for my squad you dumb fuck.
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To: Travis Henry
Re: Gool Old Days
It takes me back to watching him run wild for the Buffalo Bills and then get cast off and do shit until this past week. I don't know who I feel more sorry for. The Titans for thinking Travis Henry is capable of this every week or the Redskins who decided to bend over on Sunday afternoon.
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To: Roy Williams and Terrell Owens
Re: Welcome to the game of Football
You see you have to catch the ball in the endzone for points, until this past week. You obviously forgot that was part of the game. Prediction on both, they suck the next 2 weeks because they are over confidnet now.
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To: Bruce Gradkowski, Vince Young
Way to pick up your first career victories. Cheers to you my good friend. Hurrah!

The Good:
LT - He had 4 touchdowns and did not crack 100 yards. How on earth does that happen since Jerome Bettis is retired?
The Steelers - Looking like yourself, but still a long way to go
The Saints go marching on again, hurrah hurrah.

The Bad:
Bears - Was is it me making too many Ditka references that forced them to give up 6 count them SIX turnovers. Papa Bear Halas is rolling over in his grave with a performance like that.
Oakland - What's black and silver with no hope of victory? The Oakland Raiders. hahaha
The Bengals, Redskins, and Bills - okay, the Bills shouldn't be here because there game was more of a toss up. But, Cincy and Washington there was no excuses. If you don't want to play anymore then fine, but to get paid, you need to play.

Rankings to come soon....
JUBA

Thursday, October 12, 2006

NFL Rankings...

After about 7-8 beers watching Hockey Night in Canada with a buddy from home who was visiting, he was bitching about my blog and saying that I should do an NFL Ranking, which I thought was I good idea.
We are going to give it a try so let's hope we remember everyone here.

1- CHICAGO BEARS (5-0)
We all knew how scary the defense was, but did anyone expect the offense to come alive like this. I sure didn't. They have only allowed 36 points in the team's first five games. That is wicked nasty. They are on pace to finish with one of the stingiest defenses in NFL history. Now, let's not do anything stupid like get hurt or something.
2- INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (5-0)
They miss Edgerrin James. But James misses Indianapolis more. They are a deep team spreading the field with a variety of ways. Yes, they barely beat the Vince Young-led Titans last week, but the Colts ran with Joesph Addai, then ran with Dominack Rhodes. Oh yeah, we have that Peyton Manning guy with the arm to end all arms.
3- DENVER BRONCOS (4-1)
Whoever won the Monday night game between Baltimore and Denver was going to the 3 spot. That was a given, but Denver manhandled Baltimore making them look pitiful. The Denver defense was solid all night, in the cold shitty weather that Bronco fans have come to know and love.
4- BALTIMORE RAVENS (4-1)
Yes, they got pushed around in Denver and their running game is soon to be the 'feared' Running Back By Committee. Steve McNair is starting to struggle a little bit. The good news is like Chicago and Denver, the defense will keep them in games. You don't have to wow anyone by winning big, just do well enough to get by.
5- NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4-1)
How lucky are the Patriots to be playing in the AFC East, with Miami a complete and total mess this year, New England (barring internal collapse) has stamped themselves with another AFC East title. They need to really figure out the receiving corps or they will be hurting in January come playoff time. I am a big fan of the Maroney/Dillon running back tandem as they are running over opponents and making it look really easy. That shouldn't be happening.
6- SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (3-1)
Dear Mr. Hutchinson,
Please Come Home.
Sincerely,
Seahawks front office.
They need to improve the O-line to improve the running game. Hasselbeck has almost too many options when it comes to receivers but like New England they have a weak division making a return playoff trip likely. Sadly, they will be going through Soldier Field where they were known as the unknown soldier. Completely lost and confused.
7- CINCINNATI BENGALS (3-1)
They are going to outscore people, but they aren't getting the lucky breaks like last year. So, they need to work on the defensive side of the ball. Also, staying out of jail would be a gigantic plus for the mystery Bengals. If you guys keep playing well, then I have to hear Boomer Esiason talk and I can't drink that much to forget about him.
8- SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (3-1)
Philip Rivers needs one more big game for me to launch them into a top 5 team, but they looked really good against the Steelers. Imagine if the receiving corps were upgraded to a decent squad. How solid would the offense be?
9- PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (4-1)
McNabb has proven that he doesn't need T.O. the question will now be can he lead the team to the promised land and deliver a Philly Super Bowl trip. Also, Brian Westbrook slow down, take it easy. We haven't had you healthy this far into the season, ever.
10- ATLANTA FALCONS (3-1)
You love the run, Jeroius Norwood can run through and over people, why isn't he used more often? The receivers need to be more consistent as does Ahsley Lelie. You wanted out, you got out, now deliver some numbers.
11- JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (3-2)
This is a team I do not want to face, if Leftwhich was only more consistent. Oh, imagine the possibilities. Will the injury to Peterson make a defense in one of the most frightening defenses?
12- ST. LOUIS RAMS (4-1)
Overachieving, which is good for them. They haven't hit the wall or have had their tema falling apart due to injuries. They will falter, unless they take down Seattle this weekend.
13- NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (4-1)
"Team of Destiny" is the new phrase I am hearing, is that the truth though, I don't know. I thought that last year's team underachieved because they lost McAllister, so them playing well this year is not a gigantic shock to me. I think that the Saints will march on, but they can't get every break all season, can they?
14- CAROLINA PANTHERS (3-2)
They lost Dan Morgan due to injury again. Steve Smith is healthy, but DeAngelo Williams is not. The 3-2 record shows hoe up and down this team is. The need be healthy to be playoff bound.
15- NEW YORK GIANTS (2-2)
The Giants are starting to come around which is about time. Are they as good as everyone is saying. Hell no. They will be a wild card team and then get trounced in the first round because I do not think the Giants are going to step and deliver defensviely. They are going to be up and down all season long.
16- MINNESOTA VIKINGS (3-2)
The defense is the highlight of this team for me, they are exceeding my expectations and warrant starting in fantasy matchups if they have a favorable opponent. I would like to see Brad Johnson try and air it out to the receivers a little more. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Keep going until it stops working.
17- DALLAS COWBOYS (2-2)
I will not answer any questions about T.O. and then you answer questions about T.O. guess what Parcelles I DO NOT CARE! You and T.O. can drop dead for I care. I for one, don't want to listen to this soap-opera crap any longer. Who's with me? Also, what is the deal at running back are we going to make up our minds here...Marion Barber or Julius Jones? That's the million dollar question.
18- WASHINGTON REDSKINS (2-2)
Santana Moss, Clinton Portis and a group of overachievers. Washington is the New York Yankees of the NFL, let's continue to throw money at the problem, because hey that has worked out great in the past. Yeah right, it doesn't work, but no one told Daniel Snyder that. ie-Brandon Lloyd, Antwaan Randle El, etc.
19- KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (2-2)
The defense is much improved but can the offense hang on until Trent Green comes back. We hope but nothing is certain. LJ is hurting and it's not like Priest Holmes is right there to step in. They have Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh and the Steelers are ready to take assault on Huard. Herm Edwards is losing control of his players and respect from management. It could be a very short tenure for him.
20- BUFFALO BILLS (1-4)
JP Losman is the right man for the job and Lee Evans is starting to contribute more frequently. Willis is doing well running the ball. There is a young trio in place giving Buffalo some hope. It's not Andre Reed, Thurman Thomas, or Jim Kelly but the potential is there for the Bills to hang in more games the rest of the season. I think they can go 7-9 in a tough AFC this season. (Still to play - NE again, NYJ again, DET, GB, JAX just to name a few.
21- NEW YORK JETS (2-3)
J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets. Oh, how I loathe you so fucking much. I think it is because every Jets fans I know from college was a huge dick. That must be it. I wanted to punch most if not all of them in the face. They were the same people who told me last year that the Jets should trade their entire draft to Houston to draft Reggie Bush. That's how dumb they were. Anyways, they are a wild card in the AFC East, because they have the potential and luck to stay in games, but they would allow 75 yards rushing to me, with bad knees on any given Sunday.
22- PITTSBURGH STEELERS (1-3)
Say it ain't so guys. You are playing scared football. You aren't intimidating anyone and why should should. Hines Ward is getting blanketed by guys and until Wilson/Holmes/ Washington become a reliable guy, there is little chance the 3 yards and a cloud of dust team makes the playoffs. Panic is so bad, there are rumors of Jerry Porter or Randy Moss to the Steelers in a package possibly including defensive standout Joey Porter.
23- SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (2-3)
They are getting better each week, I am seeing signs of growth and potential. Alex Smith can throw, can someone please catch the ball. Or even play defense. You need defense to have a fighting chance ask teams that are at the top. They will tell you that defense is king.
24- ARIZONA CARDINALS (1-4)
Playing Matt Leinart is the right thing to do. Let the kid take his lumpps this year and establish a connection with Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. Edgerrin James needs an offensive line so that he can start to run the ball. It would be a nice thing to get, but it won't happen until next year at the earliest. This is my sleeper for next season. 2007 - the year of the Cardinal.
25- GREEN BAY PACKERS (1-4)
Brett Favre. What the hell is Brett Favre doing in my living room? Sorry, "There's Something About Mary" was on TV last night and frankly, I could not resist myself from saying it. Brett says "I'm in town to play the Dolphins, dumbass." Ah, it takes me back. Anyways, Brett you should have moved on this year, it's tough to watch a legend fade away into mediocracy. I understand you want to go out competitive and a winner, let's face it. Green Bay is not going to give you that. What you need is a core of talent around you. Greg Jennings is wicked awesome, but losing Javon Walker hurt a lot. Even if you won't admit to it. Please stop living in 1997. It is sad to see this. The Free Aaron Rodgers campaign has officially started.
26- HOUSTON TEXANS (1-3)
David Carr can be a good quarterback as long as he is standing upright for more than a few seconds. Mario Williams is not the dynamic player Houston is hoping for and with Domanick Davis out for the year, how bad do you think Houston wishes they had Reggie Bush. I am sure plenty of people. Let's hope the defense can play to the potential of the offense and they will get by. They are better than 1-3. I truly think so.
27- CLEVELAND BROWNS (1-4)
Should they be higher, maybe but not by much. I am anti-Cleveland (being a Steelers fan it's in my blood) and I can't deny it. They are going to contiune to take their lumps, but they have some hope on the horizon, but what happened Rueben Droughns. He has looked ugly this year and needs to pick up the pace. Fantasy owners are calling for his head on a plate.
28- TAMPA BAY BUCCANNEERS (0-4)
They may be winless, but they looked managible against the Saints last week. Bruce Gradkowski, is going to get through this season and Jon Gruden did not panic and sign a retread quarterback to salvage his season ie-Tommy Maddox. Yes, Cadillac Williams will ultimately struggle as will the continued development of receiver Michael Clayton.
29- TENNESSEE TITANS (0-5)
Vince Young, looked okay against the Indy defense. I thought he was going to be falling apart. What is falling apart is the Titans front office and their receiving corps. Rumor has it that management and the coaching staff disagree on things and Jeff Fisher might be the guy to fall on the sword this off-season. If that is the case. The Titans will do a very bad thing there.
30- MIAMI DOLPHINS (1-4)
Joey Harrington, is getting something that very few people get in life. A second chance. I mean that's great. He deserves it and I hope that he does well. Even if it is Miami. He's has Chambers, Ronnie Brown, McMichael around him and he needs just a litte protection and he'll be alright.
31- DETROIT LIONS (0-5)
Yes, I like Jon Kitna as there qb. Joey Harrington got the raw deal, but this team is a mess up and down and there is room for improvement all over the place. I also hear that Roy Williams is hurting a little bit. Awesome, when it rains it pours literally.
32- OAKLAND RAIDERS (0-4)
First off, when Andrew Walter is your starting quarterback you are in trouble. This team should get at least one W. I mean Randy Moss and Lamont Jordan aren't that bad. Oh wait, they are. Well damn. Here's hoping for one win that doesn't come against the Steelers. From the rumor mill and reposted on rotoworld.com The Steelers are interested in either Jerry Porter or Randy Moss. Randy Moss in Pittsburgh, Cowher would definately retire and leave Moss to be someone else's problem.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Week 5 Football Fun

I have returned from a long a pointless break. Mainly being swamped at work getting ready for the fantasy hockey season, in which I have a legitimate team.
The baseball playoffs are continuing which is fine, but the two teams that I picked to go to the World Series managed to get a total of 1 win between the 2 teams. That's not my fault, but the Yankees lost which is a good thing.

Anyways, let's get down to business. Team No Fat Chicks who almost won in week 4. (We lost because of the Seattle/Chicago game. My team was down 6 points going into that game where I had the Seattle defense and Josh Brown and they decided to suck big time and lose the game for me)
Week 5 was different, the team played with a chip on their shoulder, our opponent was 4-0 going into the week and they were the overachieving squad. They were in the middle of a controversy trying to trade Alge Crumpler, Deion Branch, and DeShaun Foster for Rudi Johnson which our league vetoed becuase both owners were being dumbasses.

First off, everything fell into place we won, but we also managed to score the most points in the league. That's wicked nasty. We were lead by the following guys:
Duece McAllister (123 rushing yards, td = 20 points)
Tom Brady (2 passing td's)
Cadillac Williams (100+ yards rushing)
Lee Evans (94 yards receiving, td against the bears)
Josh Scobee (13 points)
Minnesota Defense (5 sacks, 3 ints, 1 fumble recovery = 29 points)
Now I know I was wicked lucky (also having hines ward, mark clayton, todd heap not producing)
Really lucky was knowing my opponent had:
Peyton Manning (under 200 passing yards, 2 td's against tennessee)
Westbrook (non-factor in shootout against Dallas)
Antonio Bryant (overachiever)
Jericho Cotchery (overachiever)
Marcus Robinson (overachiever)
Keyshawn Johnson (67 yards, td)
Charges Defense (manhandling my boys on Sunday night)

Anyways, there is still some hope for us. As this week we are still the underdog, but our matchup this week boils down to the Cincinnati Bengals and the Tampa Bay Buccanneers. Our opponent also 1-4 has Carson Palmer, Rudi Johnson going we have Cadillac Williams and possible Michael Clayton. It'll be a game to watch.
Also, we have Tom Brady on bye week, so in comes Jake Plummer against Oakland (how can I be this fucking lucky!)
If Duece shows up again this week and my luck continues with Lee Evans (v. Det), Mike Furrey (v. Buf), Heap and Mark Clayton (v. Car).
It'll be a wicked close matchup.

Returning by popular demand is the list (I have lots to bitch about)

To: Terrell Owens
Re: Play the Game...
You are still alive after the Philly matchup and you were a non-factor. But, hey I hear that your new children's book deal is exciting. (Here's a title for you...Little T learns to shut the hell up, no one cares!)
So far 4 games, 17 catches for 232 yards and 1 touchdown....hmmm - here's a note YOU SUCK THIS YEAR!
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To: Art Shell
Re: Unemployment
Did you really need the money that much? You could make the same amount of money selling crack or turning tricks. Not tricks like making the Raiders not suck balls. You get the picture. Will you be around for those magic words "With the first pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Oakland Raiders select..."
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To: Bill Cowher
Re: Let's Circle the Wagons
The Superbowl hangover is getting wicked ugly. Roethlisberger is tough as nails and would not admit if he is injured or would dare sit himself down if his hair was on fire. But, we need to start figuring out how to move the ball a little bit better. I have some ideas it's called spreading the field, utilizing the versatility of players Hines Ward, Santonio Holmes, etc. Just a thought. I mean Ken Wisenhunt was a top choice to be a head coach and now he is looking foolish in the offensive coordinator role for the Steelers.
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To: Rex Grossman
Re: Pro-Bowl Caliber QB
Whatever the hell you are eating, I want seconds of that. Holy hell, no one saw this coming. Not even Rex himself. Chicago is blowing the dust off of the Superbowl Shuffle Vinyl Single. Little kids are going as Ditka for Halloween. (okay, that's a bit extreme. It would be hilarious though)
Grossman is doing exactly what his name implies, being Gross man, wicked Gross, making Bernard Berrian Honolulu bound.
Will they run the table against the 72 Dolphins, not a chance in hell. But it could be interesting to watch....
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To: Pregame Television Announcers
Re: No Personalitity
You all are overpaid, ex-athletes who needs to relate more to the average football fan. I would love to see some 300 pound die hard fan of football giving us insight, rather than Boomer Esiasion. Hey, Boomer we get it when you were with the Bengals the Ickey Shuffle was still cool. It's not and neither are you.
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The Good:
Any Chicago Bear not named Cedric Benson
Philip Rivers (yes, he beat Pittsburgh like it was his job...oh, what was that it IS his job. fuck)
Lawrence Maroney (he's sick and getting better)
Duece McAllister (he is quietly producing after being out for most of last year. It's that pesky Reggie Bush guy that is keeping him from a return top 10-15 back)

The Bad:
I thought Randy Moss was supposed to be talented and good. Well, he is awful now a days
Daunte Culpepper - put your ego at the door and fully recover from injury. It's Joey Harrington who has the job. It'll be easy to get it back.
Hines Ward - Thanks for showing up, poser. You are killing my team.
Tampa Bay - Chris Simms may have gone down, but you can't blame him for everything.

Until next week.
JUBA

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

MLB Playoffs

The Football post will come later today, but I wanted to make my MLB Playoff Predictions right now, before the first game at 1 PM. That way, if it's true, then people know I am not copying them.

First thing is first. The Twins who I have been touting for quite some time is going to win the World Series. Now, I know that they are the trendy pick among sports writers who want to be cool, but let's look at the facts. How many teams have been hotter than Minnesota? The Twins know how to come back late in games. And I don't care how that since it's the post-season Mariano Rivera is the greatest closer ever, that was the past. This is 2006, Hello Joe Nathan! He will make the leap to superstardom this post-season.
On the NL side, it would have been pretty easy to say that the Mets were going, but let's get real. No Pedro, not going to happen. Jake Peavy and all-time saves man Trevor Hoffman will be representing the NL.
Twins/A's - Twins in 5
Tigers/Yankees - Yankees in 4

Twins/Yankees - Twins in 6

Mets/Dodgers - Mets in 4
Padres/Cardinals - Padres in 5

Padres/Mets - Padres in 6

World Series --Twins/Padres - Twins in 7.
MVP - Something tells me that Michael Cuddyer will come up big, it's just a feeling. Yeah let's see the Twins hoist the trophy for Kirby Puckett, who passed away during spring training.

Until later.
Juba

Monday, September 18, 2006

The List (Week 2)

Another week has passed and first let's hear it for the Tenacious D of Western New York!
No, I don't mean the off-color humorous band featuring Jack Black, but the defense of the mighty Buffalo Bills throwing around Daunte Culpepper like a rag doll. More importantly, the Bills won. They evened their record at 1-1, preparing for a home opener next weekend against the New York Jets (who lost a close game to New England, but mainly because of some miraculous plays and poor Patriot tackling.)

Once again, my money league team, spent way too much time in the buffet line as team No Fat Chicks, were beaten with 2x4's and broken beer bottles. My team, which went down hill, when we had to draft in early August and then Dominack Davis went down for the year. But that's besides the point. 0-2 to start the year, makes me very very very angry and pissed off. My whole team has made 'The List'

To: Rex Grossman
Re: Stop Ruining my Life
Okay, we get it. You went to Florida and thought hey I used to be a run n' gun quarterback, If I spent more time on my feet, throwing the ball downfield I then bending over and taking it deep, then I should be fine.
Me: You stupid little (beep)(beep)(beep). My opponent had Trent Green as his other qb, and I am thinking that we are made and we are going to even our record at 1-1. Yeah, Um no.
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To: Jon Gruden
Re: Your Ass From a Hole in the Ground
Your offense is so bad, it couldn't beat a bunch of high school football players in a beer chugging contest. You can't pass, You definately can't run. You are forcing me to stop liking Cadillac Williams. If you don't step up, then I along with the city of Tampa Bay, will probably hunt you down and kick your ass. Atlanta misses 4 FG's. Four! That's unheard of in the NFL and you still manage to suck on it hard. You stupid little....

To: Cadillac Williams and Michael Clayton
Re: One Irate GM
You two are the biggest a-holes on the planet. I get it, Chris Simms isn't Brian Griese. Hell, he's not even Phil Simms (the retired, fat, old commentator not the player). But, not everything is this kid's fault. You even the big money. Damn it, act like you deserve it, play like you deserve it. Otherwise, You are dead to me.
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To: Tom Brady
Re: Throw the ball, and stop being an idiot
After your 'lucky' game against the Jets, you look like you are going to cry. Because they never should have been in the game towards the end. You lost, Deion Branch and David Givens, but management decided to give you the Trent Green syndrome. We have a quarterback who is good, but let's give him the shittiest receivers in the world, so he can be the worst of the top flight quartbacks. But, it's okay but we have three mother-F*ing running backs, who couldn't help Brady rack up passing yards. That's right, that's the job of Reche Caldwell. Are you kidding me? No wonder, Brady looks like he is crying. It's because he is.
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To: Miami Offensive Line
From: Daunte Culpepper
Thanks for making the Bills Defense look like the Steel Curtain of the 1970's. If you give me just 5 seconds I could make a pass, but I need some pass protection. I am Way more important than you and I will show you how Culpepper does things around here. I know people.
PS- You should drive your own cars to the stadium, by yourself unless you are carpooling with other offensive linemen.
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To: Football Fans Everywhere
From: New Orleans
Thanks for giving us a Monday night showdown with Atlanta. Reggie Bush is the renaissance of New Orleans.

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The Good:
Rex Grossman - QB Chicago (Yeah, you really can't ignore the nastiest numbers of the week)
Chad Pennington - QB New York Jets (I know, he got wicked lucky out of some fluke plays from his receivers, but the shoulder is looking like it could be okay this season)
Jericho Cotchery - WR New York Jets (I mean, did you see that catch, it was filthy. Catch of the Year, in only week 2)
Peyton Manning - WB Indianapolis (400+ yards, I don't care if it was against Houston)
Rudi Johnson - RB Cincinnati (140+ yards rushing and 2 TD's just in time for the Pittsburgh game next weekend)

The Bad:
Everyone on my fantasy team.
The Tennessee Titans Offense
The Tampa Bay Buccanneers Offense
Michael Konenen, K Atlanta (0-4 on FG's and you still win the game, wow)
*also, the Falcons signed Morten Anderson out of a 2 year retirement, but don't worry Konenen you always have punting to fall back on.

Until next week,
Juba

- Let's hope team, No Fat Chicks finally leaves the buffet line and finds their way to victory
I Loathe You Will Everything I Have:
Tom Brady, Duece McAllister, Cadillac Williams, Lee Evans, Hines Ward, Michael Clayton, Mark Clayton, Michael Jenkins, Todd Heap, Josh Brown, and Rex (Whore) Grossman.

Until next time.
~Juba